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  1. #1
    Inactive Member NotSoSilentBob's Avatar
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    How can I become an illegal alien?

    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
    Senate Office Building
    309 Hart
    Washington DC, 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes,

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
    Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
    Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
    becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
    illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and
    for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
    accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
    years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
    income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see
    one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
    out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
    every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
    in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
    illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
    family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
    room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
    for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
    year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
    would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
    applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
    throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
    renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
    premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
    children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
    (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
    most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
    [IMG]http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l53/blpjr77/culpeper1.jpg[/IMG]

  2. #2
    Inactive Member aphrodite4ever's Avatar
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    Re: How can I become an illegal alien?

    that is hilarious, almost makes me want to become an illegal too! [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
    RE-ELECT MARK HUTCHINSON SB DISTRICT 1.
    DONALD DUCK FOR SB IN DISTRICT 2 & 3. [ALL CANDIDATES ARE WORTHLESS]
    RE-ELECT KYLE FLETCHER SB DISTRICT 4
    [img]http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n261/aphrodite4evermore/wildcat.jpg[/img]

  3. #3
    Inactive Member imported_ut1's Avatar
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    Re: How can I become an illegal alien?

    I'll stand in line with the rest of you. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
    "Yes, there are two paths you can go by
    But in the long run
    There's still time to change the road you're on."

  4. #4
    Inactive Member aphrodite4ever's Avatar
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    Re: How can I become an illegal alien?

    sounds good to me! Lets go!!
    RE-ELECT MARK HUTCHINSON SB DISTRICT 1.
    DONALD DUCK FOR SB IN DISTRICT 2 & 3. [ALL CANDIDATES ARE WORTHLESS]
    RE-ELECT KYLE FLETCHER SB DISTRICT 4
    [img]http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n261/aphrodite4evermore/wildcat.jpg[/img]

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